Often, people become deeply upset due to relationships with partners/spouses, children, parents, friends, etc. And very rarely do they question their relationship with themselves. What do we know about ourselves? Do we build relationships with ourselves responsibly, consciously, and faithfully? Or do we leave it as a last resort, prioritized by the leftover time, strength, and energy?

The simplicity and complexity of the situation lie in the fact that relationships with oneself = relationships with others. If you listen to, feel, love, value, and accept yourself, then in your relationships with others you will also be able to hear, feel, love, sense the value, and accept. In positive psychotherapy, this phenomenon is explained as follows – first, you need to satisfy your own need, for example, learning to dedicate time to yourself, only then can you transform this satisfied need into an ability and generously with pleasure find time for relationships with your spouse/partner, children, parents, friends, etc.

In positive psychotherapy, described by Dr. Nossrat Peseschkian, the Method of the Balance Model of the 4 areas of life is used, also known as the «Peseschkian's Crystal».

Also read: 10 points you should forgive yourself for..

A person's self-perception directly depends on how they distribute time and energy among these areas. Ideally, you should allocate the same amount of time to each of them. And, if you take all life's energy as 100%, then each area should have 25%.

Try to explore yourself in these 4 areas. Do you know everything about yourself, are you satisfied with everything, do you give yourself enough care, protection, compassion, attention, respect, etc.? Is there anything you would like to change in your relationship with yourself? Be sure to write down your thoughts:

• Body Sphere (sleep, sex, sensations, nutrition, health, appearance, etc.)
• Activity Sphere (achievements, work, money, learning, career, etc.)
• Contact Sphere (emotions, relationships, communication, hobbies, spouses, relatives, friends, traditions, etc.)
• Fantasy, Future Sphere (faith, dreams, goals, values, meanings, fantasies, etc.)

Exploring yourself can take a lifetime, and it's essential to adhere to the following rules:

1. The Art of Small Steps.

Building relationships with oneself is important with pleasure, love, and care. Think about what this means personally for you. If you apply the balance model, what is «self-care» in each area, preferably by points:

• Body Sphere (nutrition, comfortable sleeping place, massage, sex, health monitoring, etc.)
• Activity Sphere (caring for financial flows, professional and career growth, etc.)
• Contact Sphere (caring about emotional background, marital and family relationships, communication with friends, having hobbies, creating and maintaining family traditions, etc.)
• Fantasy, Future Sphere (awareness of one's goals, values, meanings, fantasies, and of course their implementation)

Now think about what from the listed items you would like to bring into your life or possibly get rid of, making room for what you dream about. Be sure to answer the question of what might be possible to do by the end of today, and what in the next 2-7 days. And act. Enjoy taking care of yourself – these are small steps to big success.

2. Be for yourself.

How are things going with your internal advocate? What am I talking about, you may ask? What happens when you have a bad day and remember the «clumsy hands», «dumb brains», «eternal rakes»? And it doesn't matter if it's a big or small mistake, the expressions are always the same. Or let me give another example, everything may go so well that it’s time to be proud of yourself, but a modest «it could be better» suddenly emerges. It happened that life experiences and traumas caused by significant people forbid it, but the internal advocate allows it, so praise yourself heartily and repeat as often as possible to yourself, or aloud if you wish, «all my life situations are right for me, in these circumstances and with these people»

3. Respect your choice.

Self-respect comes when you make your choice and achieve your goal. In childhood, we are taught to be cautious, as we grow older, we are afraid to fall, and reaching the peak of strength, we forget why we chose Life. Living to the fullest is the main choice, and don't be afraid to get tired or miss something, once choosing relationships with Yourself, you will allow the best to come into your life. And then the domino effect will work – experiencing happiness and pride for small victories once, you will always strive for more.

Also read: «CHANGE, cannot leave» or «change cannot, leave» the decision is yours..

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