When we fall under the influence of sexual feelings (often we mistakenly test this as being in love), our ability to think and objectively assess what is happening sharply decreases. This means that we act almost on "autopilot," only PARTIALLY understanding and correctly evaluating what is happening. 
Especially this applies to girls and young women. After all, nature cares about reproduction, not about the quality of relationships and life.
Therefore, the sex hormones that have appeared in the blood will limit the ability to think critically.

At the same time, our unconscious tries to realize its own programs. With the help of sexual relations, we try to establish a connection with another person, and the pleasure we receive serves as pleasant confirmation of this connection. We perceive sexual communication as something very significant and important.
It is not surprising, after all, each of us has a memory of how the most significant person in our lives, on whom our survival, safety, importance, and satisfaction depended — mother, established a connection with us precisely through the body, physical sensations, and emotions.
There were simply no other options.

And if the mother was a "good enough" mother, the child received a wonderful experience of relationships in a "happy couple" and trust in their body, in themselves, and in a significant other. If also the relationships between the mother and the father were harmonious and loving, and between the father and the child — this served as a good foundation for the formation of normal sexuality and healthy relationships in the future.

Also read: How to become a "good mother". Top 3 rules..

Sexual interactions of adults always bear the imprint of relationships that took place in the past. It is an attempt to breathe life into them, to relive anew and process in the current context. Our sexual connection with a partner is always filled with the memory of the deeply imprinted experience of relationships in the parental family and images from it.

By establishing a sexual connection with an important person for us, we seek to symbolically fill in what seemed to be so lacking before; we strive to continue the valuable that we once had in past relationships or only dreamed of it. All this seems even more real to us when we hope to get pleasure and joy from sexual encounters. If the partners really suit each other and have enough personal qualities to build quality, long-term monogamous relationships, then sexual satisfaction will only keep the couple in attempts to build their joint future. Accordingly, the inability to get such satisfaction will complicate and undermine these attempts.

Let's now imagine a situation where the early interaction experience of an infant with the mother did not go quite smoothly, which often happens, and mothers are not always to blame. Many factors influence this. This imposes the strongest imprint on the child's perception of their body with its needs on the one hand and forms various ideas of how to achieve satisfying their needs in relationships with another significant person on the other. And if we add to this complex and non-harmonious relationships between the parents, lack of love for the child (or hyperprotection), and quality upbringing by these parents, then we will get a whole bouquet of problems and difficulties in adult sexual life and beyond.

The memory of frustration and dissatisfaction will push a person to search for exactly such a sexual partner, in relations with whom they will again be forced to experience the same pain and difficulties that they did not deal with in the deep past, to try to deal with them now. But the trouble is that there is no skill in how to deal with this; it has not been developed by anyone. As a result, the same scenario is repeated endlessly.

Also read: 8 reasons why a woman loses interest in her partner..

At the same time, the level of sexual tension and attraction to such a partner can be very high, and sometimes love at the beginning is fairy-tale beautiful. As a result, pleasure from sex will further tie to the "suitable" partner and update long-forgotten sensual memories of pain, abandonment, lack, suffering, and the desire to overcome it.

Such relationships are always very problematic and often end with the change of a partner, and sometimes a large number of the latter. It will be difficult for such a person to draw conclusions independently, especially at the moment of the emergence of feelings for a new object, as sex hormones and the mode of feeling will cancel out critical thinking, remember?

There may be the opposite situation, where a person begins to fear their sexuality, avoid sexual connection, or experiences problems and dysfunctions of the sexual sphere at the body level.
Of course, doctors can do little to help here. All these difficulties can and should be worked on and overcome if there is a desire to gain healthy, full-fledged relationships in which sexuality will only bring joy and strengthen relationships with an important and dear person for you.

Awareness of your unconscious ideas and aspirations, analysis of mistakes, and building a new healthy model of relationships — this is difficult work, it requires time, effort, and often outside help.
But it is very important work and doing it is much more useful than looking (waiting) for a prince or princess, doing nothing or making the same mistakes stepping on old rakes. Princes and princesses do not exist, but there are real people with real qualities that we can learn to identify more accurately, without fantasizing or imagining too much.

To do this, firstly, you need to learn and test your own qualities and ideas. Are you ready to work on yourself?

Also read: If you need psychological help urgently, confidentially and without leaving your home, it's only online..

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