Autumn – time to warm up, prepare for winter, some just want to survive, while others want to live for pleasure, enjoy all the joys, holidays, etc., of the upcoming winter.

For car enthusiasts, autumn entails another challenge - "re-shoeing" the car from summer tires to winter ones, and doing it in time and without queues, drivers will understand me.

So what is the purpose of this introduction? The point is that in every life situation, or more precisely in the response to it and in the methods, approaches to solving it (even in something seemingly insignificant like preparing for winter or changing car tires), you can consider life concepts, attitudes, programs, and predict what will happen next.

Read also: How emotions and thoughts influence events in our life. Top 5 ways to understand..

Returning to the car, it's unlikely to find a daredevil who would risk driving on icy roads with summer tires, as it is dangerous. Similarly, in human life, there are many dangers such as disappointment from failed relationships or missed opportunities, losses, imaginary and real fears, etc. So by what criteria can you conclude that events in our life are not beneficial and we urgently need to change something? A bad sign is if there is a feeling of limitation, constraint, and hopelessness when there are many doubts, and fear overcomes curiosity, and all opportunities disappear, there are no desires and strength, etc. If you use a metaphor, it means you are trying to drive on icy roads with summer tires.

And as soon as you realize this, psychological defense mechanisms will immediately come into play, which are intended on one hand to protect and soften the blows of fate, but on the other hand, they perform a braking function (because their main message is “yes, life is a swamp, but everything here is dear and familiar, with no surprises, why change anything?”). They strongly hinder the movement towards desired changes. So, the offenders need to be identified:

1. Rationalization. A person refuses to acknowledge the real reason for what is happening. For example: “Well, why change tires, how long is this winter, in spring it will be back to normal, I’ll just carefully drive through it…”
2. Devaluation. Faced with the inability to achieve a goal, a person seeks to belittle and discredit the goal itself. For example: “Why is everyone going crazy about changing tires, huge lines, people clearly have nothing better to do…”
3. Repression. Faced with an unacceptable impulse, a person seems to push it out of consciousness, not wanting to think about it or remember it. However, being repressed into the sphere of the unconscious psyche, these impulses make themselves known, manifesting in a veiled form. For example: “Oh, why do I keep forgetting…”
4. Compensation. If it is not possible to achieve a desired goal, we try to somehow compensate for it. For example: “I have big plans for today, and this is just not important…”
5. Projection. Not wanting to admit to oneself any unworthy actions or thoughts, a person starts attributing them to others and also denouncing them with righteous anger. For example: “Those blondes behind the wheel should learn how to drive properly…”

These are just some of the many defense mechanisms known to psychologists. They, of course, help a person maintain self-respect and shield themselves from traumatic experiences. But their common drawback is that they allow a person to evade the problem rather than solve it, meaning to walk in circles, step on the same “rakes” and collect “bumps”. By the way, signing up for a consultation with a psychologist is also hindered by defense mechanisms).

Read also: And again “rakes” or how to stop. Top 3 ways..

But learning to solve problems is within the power of any person, you can change your life on your own. Positive dynamics in life will be indicated by such changes: if a physical symptom disappears, for example, if there was previously insomnia, the person will start to sleep more, falling asleep and waking up rested. Or when a person regains their childhood curiosity about life, starts to understand their desires, builds new relationships, hears their dreams, and goes to meet them, etc.

And it is important to understand that in most cases, people really do have a personal resource to cope with all the challenges that fate has in store. However, by consulting a psychologist, there is a chance to go through the path of change much faster, learn self-help, believe in oneself, which will allow one to cope with psychological problems independently in the future and be their psychologist.

 Read also: “CHANGE, cannot leave” or “change CANNOT, leave” the decision is yours..

iPsycholog - Your psychologist online.